You become a master of your life when you learn how to control where your attention goes. Value what you give your energy and time to.
— @TheFemaleHustlers.Academy
This is the second post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more.
Be ready for rants and opinions!
Have you ever felt like you can’t express your feelings? Have you ever felt like you wanna give up?
If you asked me those questions, the answers would be “yes”, definitely.
So, what? It’s not important for anyone, but myself, though.
Yeah, I knew. That’s why I keep it for myself. I don’t disclose what I feel to anyone (at least not now). I feel what I feel, and I’m the one who experience its effects by the way. Why bother to tell anyone, right?
Since you can endure it yourself, it must be not that bad.
Well, sorta? I just cry to the point it’s difficult for me to breathe. I also lose my spirit to do anything. I give up, I let it go, everything. Currently, I’m waiting for my departure time. I wanna get out from this world, but I still have so much sins hahaha. Doesn’t it mean I’ll go straight to the hell??
Well, I don’t know if it’s good or bad. Why don’t you seek help from people around you?
I did. I told what I feel to my sister who is currently sharing room with me, but she didn’t give any response hehe. I also told my closest friend, she told me to go to psychiatrist, then the next day she called me “lazy” because I still felt the same feelings HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Few weeks ago, I read some tweets about intrasexual competition. The unfamiliar term is related with the fact that women tend to hate or bring other women down. There are various causes of intrasexual competition between women.
An article titled “Intrasexual Competition in Females: Evidence For Sexual Selection” mentioned that the competition between woman and woman often aiming for mates. I found it plausible, given the fact that there are more women in the world.
Another article titled “Women Who Hate Other Women: The Psychological Root of Snarky” also explained few reasons why intrasexual compeition between woman and woman happens. Woman is a sensitive human being. The article explained that when woman feels threatened by the prospect of being left out, she will respond it by socially excluding the third party. This point is also triggered by anxiety. When women feels inadequate in an area of life they value highly, some of them will defend themselves by criticizing other woman.
I’m not trying to be hypocrite, it happened to me once. When i found someone who was usually not good at doing something suddenly improved, i felt the fear. The sound “What if she overtakes you? No one will choose you” kept echoing on my mind. How to win over that sound? By working harder? Sure, but it wasn’t the first i did. The first thing I did was looking for her flaws. I kept reminding myself that she could do it because of her luck or privilege, nothing’s more.
As the time goes on, I am getting tired of this. It was tiring enough to compare yourself, then defending yourself like that. After reflecting on my previous action, I decided to stop comparing and defending myself like that. Focusing on myself and doing whatever I want sound way better, both for my mental and body health.
Well, we all compete with each other, but I still believe that all good things will happen if I work hard and pray. If it’s meant to be, it will be. Hence, I shouldn’t worry about anything, right?
P.S I suppose the saying “Girls Support Girls” is relevant only when the other girls are not blocking your way.
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This blog is gonna be full of rant and opinion of the author.
Author also use this blog to improve her language ability, so feel free to correct if a mistaken is found!
Any critiques and other opinions is needed, so don’t hesitate to jump in to the comment section! Thanks!
P.S Actually i don’t fancy my url, but since it’s free, i have no choice HAHAHA.
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